Funny Americans Quotes - Funny Quotes about Americans

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming."
Jimmy Carter.

"I have orders to be awakened at any time in the case of a national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting."
Ronald Reagan.

"It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another."
George Bush.

"I'm glad I'm not Brezhnev. Being the Russian leader in the Kremlin. You never know if someone's tape recording what you say."
Richard Nixon.

"I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them."
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"Politics is supposed be the second oldest profession. I have come to realise that it bears a very close resemblance to the first."
Ronald Reagan.

"You can tell alot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans."
Ronald Reagan.

"I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon."
Ronald Reagan.

"People who like this sort of thing will find this the sort of thing they like."
(almost unbelievably) Abraham Lincoln.

"When the President does it, that means that it's not illegal."
Richard Nixon.

"Things are more like they are now than they ever were before."
Dwight D. Eisenhower.